Mother Guilt... It is all I have been thinking of all morning. We all have it, it could be because we pressed replay on that Wiggles DVD one too many times or give up on trying to give them vegetables (I have done both here!).
Last night I had a fresh bout. I decided to night wean Miss J. She is One now - and I think I can count the number of times she has slept through on one hand, with fingers to spare. Just lately, it has extended past the quick, one sided, 10 minutes and I am back in bed. It has extended to needing both sides, needing a cuddle, having a cry and taking half an hour. I have to stop it now, before I caffeinate all my organs permanently in an attempt to stay awake during the day.
After chatting to a good friend on mine on Tuesday, our daughters are almost identical in their sleep behaviours - I quizzed her on her techniques and decided it was time.
Little Miss J must have heard us talking - because on Tuesday night, she only woke once at 4:30am - I was happy with that one, but last night it all changed.
I head up to bed, and heard the cry. I waited - it wasn't distressing. I brushed my teeth, got into my PJ's and it hadn't stopped. So I went in... she went quiet. And then the battle began, she quickly realised I had shut up shop.
She kicked, she hit, she screamed... and I stayed strong. But I felt SO SO guilty.
After an hour, she fell asleep in my arms, I looked down at those angelic chubby cheeks and melted... and felt guilty.
Miss J won't remember in a weeks time, and I am sure my guilt will fade as soon as I get a full night's sleep. But this morning, I still feel guilty enough to tell you.
I know we all do it, we shouldn't, but we do.
So, help me lift the guilt and yours too - What's your latest Mother Guilt moment?
p.s. She actually slept through until morning after that... ooh there goes some of the guilt already!
i conpletly understand! Now olivia dosnt wake up demanding cuddles but instead she gets up and walks into our bed to sleep! and most nights demands a fresh bottle, im way to tired to fight so every night i give in! but maybe i will try a little tonight to get her into her own bed.
ReplyDeletei have many mummy guilts to many to share right now but its nice to know im not the only mummy dodging the 'rules' now and then :)
ahhh! the sleeping trials of little ones...such a difficult time but so worth the effort of teaching them to sleep. I am such a different mother when I have had some sleep...about mother guilt - I wrote about it recently on my blog - something all of us mothers feel in some way or another - but letting things slide is the only way to survive sometimes :) I am sure you are doing better than you think! Naomi
ReplyDelete